If you read my post about words for the new year, you know that I’m focusing on being more mindful, more brave and overall, to grow. The first three months of the year passed and I want to look back and see what I’ve done and what I should bring in my life.
Have I been brave? I think so. I’m mostly thinking about university, how I aced my exams. There was one in particular for which I studied so much and I passed it with a good mark, not the best, but one of the best. Which is absolutely unbelievable. I wanted to give up, but I didn’t. I was brave and kept on trying and finally, I did it.
I also decided to switch courses. Nu jag studerar inte ryska, men svenska. It was a choice I made in March after months thinking about it. Russian is a beautiful language, but I didn’t like it that much and I want to graduate in something that is both interesting to me, something I know will bring me happiness and not disappointment. I have to study the entire first year course by my own and I fear I won’t pass the exam in May, but even if it is weary I like it.
Did I grow? I think so, although I’m feeling a stupid adolescent in this particular moment. It may be being sitted in the park (I’m waiting for the library to be opened and start studying). It may be that I feel there is something of my paste experiences I should understand better, but that I cannot fully comprehend.
The part i failed was probably being more mindful. I haven’t meditated much, I haven’t lost myself in nature. I mostly kept my five senses busy with things and thoughts, which is exactly what I don’t want to do. Not this much.
So the next three months will be focused more on this aspect. I want to start with a short meditation every day and mindful excerices during the day. I want to attune myself more to the world as it is and the beautiful things that are in it