scattered thoughts #3

The months seem to pass slow and fast at the same time. Ah, the human perception of time! Such a wonder.

I took a whole week for myself, but it turned into a week and a half because my bf’s parents went away and I staued at his house, playing the married couple as we usually do. We had strawberries dipped in chocolate, irish coffe, cozy cuddles, spent the nights embracing one another and had a great fun generally speaking. I like our equilibrium, during these periods in which we are alone and living like we actually are married and on our own. Oh, if only.

So it was a whole week and a half of vacation and even if exams are approaching I’m happy I took it. I knew that I wouldn’t have had a lot of time from now on, because my boss would have probably contacted me soon and he did. It was a collegue, actually, and I still haven’t answered her because I really, really do not want to go back to work.
Not that being a waitress is that bad, the work in itself is average and I’m still less under-paid than most. However, I hate the place and when I read the message on Sunday evening my whole-relax week off was screwed. I had this tiny thing in the back of my head and I know that it’ll be there until I stop working for that people. They make you feel anxious with all their absurd behavious and I promised myself that I wouldn’t take on anything that has the chance to push me down and make me feel that bad. Unfortunately, I need money as every college kid this part of the neighborhood and so tomorrow morning I’ll send a message and pray they’ll let me stay home til mid-May.

It may sound crazy, but I’m so afraid of failing my exams and I’m afraid that working will leave me so exhausted that I won’t pass any one of them. This freaks me out and I understand is supersticious of me and everything, but I’m really *really* scared. I need to pass. I have to graduate, sooner or later. And it’s already a bit late, so I’d just like to do it and then go on with my life.

And I’d love to write more here, but I’m always so buy and so tired at the end of the day. Ugh. Never mind my ramblings, tomorrow will be better!

Senza titolo-2

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