Dear best friend,
Do you exist?
I’ve been in search of a best friend since I was eleven years old or something, looking for that kind of friendship that links you to someone for all your life. Someone with whom I can speak and be myself and tell everything about me, be completely open about my being and free. To me, this is the kind of bond that I look forward to find. Yet, I do not think that I ever been luck in my research. Don’t get me wrong, I have called best some friends I did believe where the best I had in my life, although for a reason or another most of them left (they are all coming back, how peculiar). I do not have a problem with people leaving me, I understand that, as free human beings, we move as we please through life and sometimes we need to move in a direction that is far apart from those we love. However, it is inevitable for me to ask myself if those best friendships were a product of my mind or if they were real.
I probably idealise too much the whole concept of a best friend, as everything else. Idealising something always means making up a pretty image in your head that probably won’t be in any way close to reality. It’s a sort of strange fantasy that you project into real life, but it is inherently false and you end up being so stuck in that process, that you are prevented from seeing reality for what it really is. In this case it prevents me to see if there is anyone around me who is trying to be meaningful in my life. And there probably is.
It’s hard to admit that I may have been overlooking people. People who longed to be part of my life as much as I wanted to be part of other’s. People who would be willing to listen to me, while I am too stuck in my own narrative, telling myself that no one is interested in what I have to say. That I’m too strange. That everyone is too busy to care for me. It is not true. I know that, now more than ever.
I am willing to make an effort to spend more time and be more open with those people who make my heart sing. People to whom I can really give something, as much as they can give to me. Regardless of what I will ever call them, those are the person who are important in my life.
Dear best friend, I don’t know if you’re already in my life or if you will ever be here. But I am ready to let you step into my circle, whenever you will feel it is the right time to show up.