Maybe this is not something you say to the person you love the most in the world, not after doing what I’ve done.
But if that wasn’t a cry for help, I honestly don’t know what it is.
Sometimes it seems I have everything under control, that I can deal with things and that I can support myself. Truth is, as I understand it, that it’s just a placebo effect calming my nerves. It delays the storm, because I don’t know how y’all do this.
I don’t know how you deal with difficulties, I don’t know how you mantain a relationship without selling yourself (aka “I’m so fucking scared you’ll go away that I’ll do practically everything to keep you close to me”), I don’t know how you motivate yourself and I can’t understand what I should do to help myself get out this sticky marsh I’m drowning into.
If I’m not going to learn by myself, I need an instructor to teach me.
I need a therapist.